with a hip

Hello ^^

As it appears, I am currently staying in the midwest. The good ole heartland.

Why?

Well, the boyfriend lives out here (he is moving with me back to Cali) but for now we are enjoying some downtime in the expanses of greenery until we have to migrate back to the urban sprawl of the desolate and cluttered Los Angeles.

I've been searching for apartments all this morning and with our almost questionable plans it looks like for at least half the year we may be staying in a studio. Which means no parties. What does this have to do with goth? Well, nothing if you press.

However while staying out here, I have been trying to rock my gothling wardrobe without eliciting too many stares from the locals.

Of course, there are many small town goths who make perfect good use of their enviroment and I have been one of them. It occurs to me though, that California lends itself particularly well to goths. Not so much for the heartland, despite the idea that I have while staying here that it is *precisely* this enviroment that lends itself to many goths who flock to California the first chance they get. One pirouette through the malls and finding a goth wardrobe is likely to be daunting. I still have yet to hit the thrift stores.

So, inasmuch as being a goth is enough for a stare, a black goth in the heartland? Well, well, well aren't you just setting up for an investigation? I do receive plenty of stares for my multi-colored hair, but I have made some edits to the wardrobe you don't want to scare the people at the local Baskin Robins with your six inch Demonia boots and Christian Death Shirt in the vestige of the christian heartland. It's just not that smart of an idea unless you're ornery.

I am enjoying the midwest, but I do miss california in all it's darkened sunshine glory.

Army of you and me.

Hey everyone ;)

I'm baack. For reals this time. I took a very long hiatus over the course since the blog started, basically finishing up some courses at my school, moving, starting a relationship, and becoming an goth model.

That's right, a goth model.

The decision came to when basically I noticed a lack of goth models of color and I felt like I had a good go at it. I have done some shoots...and Im still a bit hesistant as if I should link this blog with my modeling pursuits....I mean a model who posts angry stuff? Unheard of. But maybe, I'll await to see if that is something worth doing. But when I started modeling I was immediately swept into genres that weren't really me, but I have decided to come full circle and do goth/alt/whateverthefuck I feel like. I mean if you are going to do something, then do what you feel in your heart you should do. Do it honestly.

It has not been easy, and partially because people don't know what to do with a black goth model. Now, I want to be a smart ass and say "well, ahem.....take their fucking picture" :D

But I do enjoy modeling, because I enjoy creating images and getting done up and all that. I mean, I don't know too many goths that don't like being dramatic with their looks. Goth is a style choice that's pretty bold.

I digress...

I'm very happy to be back :D I saw some comments on the blog that touched me and let me know that there is an audience out here for what I have to say and that means a lot. Also I was inspired by the comments and getting to see who was following the blog, Black Magik being one of them. I found the blog in my aim to find more black models who were doing alternative work and so to have that blog following me, WHOA DUDE.

Alas, I was inspired to come back. Specifically, I've decided to stick with my decision to be a black goth. Plenty of times I have not stuck with the decision because it's easier to just go the already paved route, but it didn't make me happier.

But it's a lifestyle I like, and I love it, and being goth....hmm...I can define it for myself because I'm *that* much closer to knowing who I am as a person. I hope that many of you will get to that point, or at least in that path of the journey.

I'm still going to tackle a lot of issues that come with being a black goth. I'm going to aim to keep the blog balanced and rich basically.

Thank you supporters/new friends :)

I'm still alive.

Hey guys,

sorry for such the long lag between updates...that wasn't cool. I will be updating this site, when I can but this is just a note that I'm back, bitch.